Murdoc Niccals
Exclaim!, April 2001
Before we begin, please state your name and business for the record, as well as your hometown, your current HQ, and any of your upcoming activities; especially Canadian tour dates that you want to plug. This will appear in a paragraph preceding the questionnaire in the magazine.
Murdoc: Hello Canada! I’m Murdoc Niccals, Gorillaz's own fire pissing, rock god, and evil bass lord of buggery! D’ya like that intro? Some kid called me that on our website and it kind of struck a chord somehow. Stoke’s my hometown the same place that issued forth such great visionaries as Slash and Motorhead's Lemmy. I currently split my time between London and our studio complex, Kong Studios, which is set deep within the wastelands of Essex. I think we're supposed to be coming to see you lot, but I don’t pay much attention when our manager starts dribbling on so specifics allude me, sorry!
Current fixations (any of the following: music, films, books, art, TV, food, lifestyle, trend, or anything else).
Murdoc: I watched this mental documentary made by the German filmmaker Werner Herzog last night, on the time he spent working with Klaus Kinski. What a couple of absolute arse holes! It was brilliant! Herzog was droning on about sleeping under a hundred and fifty Guinea pigs in a hut with a Brazilian dwarf who had nine kids, he went on and on, never once cracking a smile. The footage of Kinski was out of this world! I mean truly out of order, the man was like a rabid, crazed baboon on PCP infused with the devil's own genius. There’s not enough of that anymore, apart from me.
Mind-altering work of art (any media, not your own).
Murdoc: You can name any one boy or girl band album, and like all great works of art, they transcend all boundaries and ask the eternal question that has cried out through the ages; Why? Leaving the quickest of wits dulled for the period that they are exposed to it.
Most memorable or inspirational gig (yours or one you were at) and why?
Murdoc: It was my first gig. My older brother Hannibal was a Skin and he took me to see the UK Subs supporting Sham 69. What he didn’t tell me was that he’d taken me so that he and all of his mates could give me a kicking because I was a rocker, the bastard. I only got to see Jimmy Percy spitting at a girl before I was knocked unconscious, so I couldn’t give you a review so to speak, but I’ll never forget that experience or the lesson it taught me; Never ever trust any fucking skinheads!
What has been your career high and low?
Murdoc: That’s a difficult one because it’s boring, I mean, what do you want me to say? Falling from number one to number two or the fact that we’re supernova pop superstars, I mean, it's all one great high and isn’t worth a tinker's be-shitted arse piece.
What should everyone shut up about?
Murdoc: Men's health! Men's shit-caked, sweaty arse cracks more like! The only concept of health I’m into is between the pages of Health and Efficiency, where aging hippy couples parade their embarrassed pubescent offspring like fourpenny rabbits. Seriously though, heroine chic has never been my bag either, it’s never had the same appeal as irresponsibly promoting an image of rubbing crystal meth into your eye sockets. Know what I mean? WELL, DO YOU?
I would drop everything to play a benefit for...
Murdoc: I would drop my trousers for the benefit of any lucky young lady who might find herself in my company.
What trait do you like and dislike most about yourself?
Murdoc: Listen pal, do the math. Big girth, multiplied by extreme heft, plus enormous length means a hell of a lot of back pain for me and for any chicks that might cross my path. It's not all fun and games running the biggest cottage cheese factory this side of the side of the South Downs.
What would make you kick someone out of your band and/or bed, and have you?
Murdoc: Easy, when I’ve finished with them, they’re off. Yeah, I’ve finished with loads of people, why has someone been saying otherwise?
When I think of Canada, I think...
Murdoc: That it’s an anagram of Anadin.
What is your vital daily ritual?
Murdoc: Every day I slaughter a goat and skin it, burn the carcass, and cure the skin so I have something to write my music on.
How do you spoil yourself?
Murdoc: M.U.R.D.O.C Hohohohohohohoho!
What was your most memorable day job?
Murdoc: Being on the dole was a full-time job, especially when you sign on in as many places as I used to, then getting housing benefits on top. Christ, what a pain in the arse! If it wasn’t against my beliefs at the time I’d have gone down their offices and shown them how to do their jobs, talk about idiots!
If I wasn’t playing music I would be... (if you’re not a musician, substitute your profession).
Murdoc: I think my last answer covers all the bases here.
What is your greatest fear?
Murdoc: That I’ll get frightened of something, what is it they say about fear itself? No hold on, shit I know, that some dirty bastard will show me the contents of rotten.com again. I mean, I am not a squeamish man and I don’t believe in censorship, but that should be banned! I strongly advise you all not to get curious and look at this because I’m not joking!
If you had a superpower, what would it be?
Murdoc: That’s a bit nerdy for me that one, do you mind if I pass on that? Russel or 2D would be your men on that subject.
What makes you want to take it off and get it on? (Music or otherwise).
Murdoc: I had scabies once and let me tell you, when you have those evil little bastards feasting down on you, you just want to take everything off and get some hardcore chemicals on them and burn everything you own. Bloody disgusting! How am I doing here, chief? What you’re looking for?
Music and sex: Is there a difference? Why?
Murdoc: You’ve been listening to that Carlos Santana wobbling on, haven’t you! I haven’t heard of anyone getting pregnant from music! Hold on, I had a close call with this bird and Genesis’ Muma once and Russel, the drummer from my band, swears by Barry White so maybe I’m wrong there. It’s a bit of a dodgy road to go down that one though, next thing you know you’ll be blaming Black Sabbath for all sorts of things! Hail Satan!
Strangest brush with celebrity (your own or someone else’s):
Murdoc: Funnily enough, I was at a party and Moby tried his “funny” touch the celeb with his cock game. If he tries it near me again, I’m gonna go Captain Ahab on his ass and it will be the last time this Moby sees any dick.
Who would be your ideal dinner guest, living or dead, and what would you serve them?
Murdoc: I’d have Fanny Cradock around, and I’m not talking about that git from Ocean Dullard Scene. No, I’m talking about the old English celebrity cook. I’d burn everything, she would then take over and I’d get a break from the Pot Noodles.
What does your mom wish you were doing instead?
Murdoc: Selling Internet pornography, taking the family business into the new millennium and all that.
Murdoc: Hello Canada! I’m Murdoc Niccals, Gorillaz's own fire pissing, rock god, and evil bass lord of buggery! D’ya like that intro? Some kid called me that on our website and it kind of struck a chord somehow. Stoke’s my hometown the same place that issued forth such great visionaries as Slash and Motorhead's Lemmy. I currently split my time between London and our studio complex, Kong Studios, which is set deep within the wastelands of Essex. I think we're supposed to be coming to see you lot, but I don’t pay much attention when our manager starts dribbling on so specifics allude me, sorry!
Current fixations (any of the following: music, films, books, art, TV, food, lifestyle, trend, or anything else).
Murdoc: I watched this mental documentary made by the German filmmaker Werner Herzog last night, on the time he spent working with Klaus Kinski. What a couple of absolute arse holes! It was brilliant! Herzog was droning on about sleeping under a hundred and fifty Guinea pigs in a hut with a Brazilian dwarf who had nine kids, he went on and on, never once cracking a smile. The footage of Kinski was out of this world! I mean truly out of order, the man was like a rabid, crazed baboon on PCP infused with the devil's own genius. There’s not enough of that anymore, apart from me.
Mind-altering work of art (any media, not your own).
Murdoc: You can name any one boy or girl band album, and like all great works of art, they transcend all boundaries and ask the eternal question that has cried out through the ages; Why? Leaving the quickest of wits dulled for the period that they are exposed to it.
Most memorable or inspirational gig (yours or one you were at) and why?
Murdoc: It was my first gig. My older brother Hannibal was a Skin and he took me to see the UK Subs supporting Sham 69. What he didn’t tell me was that he’d taken me so that he and all of his mates could give me a kicking because I was a rocker, the bastard. I only got to see Jimmy Percy spitting at a girl before I was knocked unconscious, so I couldn’t give you a review so to speak, but I’ll never forget that experience or the lesson it taught me; Never ever trust any fucking skinheads!
What has been your career high and low?
Murdoc: That’s a difficult one because it’s boring, I mean, what do you want me to say? Falling from number one to number two or the fact that we’re supernova pop superstars, I mean, it's all one great high and isn’t worth a tinker's be-shitted arse piece.
What should everyone shut up about?
Murdoc: Men's health! Men's shit-caked, sweaty arse cracks more like! The only concept of health I’m into is between the pages of Health and Efficiency, where aging hippy couples parade their embarrassed pubescent offspring like fourpenny rabbits. Seriously though, heroine chic has never been my bag either, it’s never had the same appeal as irresponsibly promoting an image of rubbing crystal meth into your eye sockets. Know what I mean? WELL, DO YOU?
I would drop everything to play a benefit for...
Murdoc: I would drop my trousers for the benefit of any lucky young lady who might find herself in my company.
What trait do you like and dislike most about yourself?
Murdoc: Listen pal, do the math. Big girth, multiplied by extreme heft, plus enormous length means a hell of a lot of back pain for me and for any chicks that might cross my path. It's not all fun and games running the biggest cottage cheese factory this side of the side of the South Downs.
What would make you kick someone out of your band and/or bed, and have you?
Murdoc: Easy, when I’ve finished with them, they’re off. Yeah, I’ve finished with loads of people, why has someone been saying otherwise?
When I think of Canada, I think...
Murdoc: That it’s an anagram of Anadin.
What is your vital daily ritual?
Murdoc: Every day I slaughter a goat and skin it, burn the carcass, and cure the skin so I have something to write my music on.
How do you spoil yourself?
Murdoc: M.U.R.D.O.C Hohohohohohohoho!
What was your most memorable day job?
Murdoc: Being on the dole was a full-time job, especially when you sign on in as many places as I used to, then getting housing benefits on top. Christ, what a pain in the arse! If it wasn’t against my beliefs at the time I’d have gone down their offices and shown them how to do their jobs, talk about idiots!
If I wasn’t playing music I would be... (if you’re not a musician, substitute your profession).
Murdoc: I think my last answer covers all the bases here.
What is your greatest fear?
Murdoc: That I’ll get frightened of something, what is it they say about fear itself? No hold on, shit I know, that some dirty bastard will show me the contents of rotten.com again. I mean, I am not a squeamish man and I don’t believe in censorship, but that should be banned! I strongly advise you all not to get curious and look at this because I’m not joking!
If you had a superpower, what would it be?
Murdoc: That’s a bit nerdy for me that one, do you mind if I pass on that? Russel or 2D would be your men on that subject.
What makes you want to take it off and get it on? (Music or otherwise).
Murdoc: I had scabies once and let me tell you, when you have those evil little bastards feasting down on you, you just want to take everything off and get some hardcore chemicals on them and burn everything you own. Bloody disgusting! How am I doing here, chief? What you’re looking for?
Music and sex: Is there a difference? Why?
Murdoc: You’ve been listening to that Carlos Santana wobbling on, haven’t you! I haven’t heard of anyone getting pregnant from music! Hold on, I had a close call with this bird and Genesis’ Muma once and Russel, the drummer from my band, swears by Barry White so maybe I’m wrong there. It’s a bit of a dodgy road to go down that one though, next thing you know you’ll be blaming Black Sabbath for all sorts of things! Hail Satan!
Strangest brush with celebrity (your own or someone else’s):
Murdoc: Funnily enough, I was at a party and Moby tried his “funny” touch the celeb with his cock game. If he tries it near me again, I’m gonna go Captain Ahab on his ass and it will be the last time this Moby sees any dick.
Who would be your ideal dinner guest, living or dead, and what would you serve them?
Murdoc: I’d have Fanny Cradock around, and I’m not talking about that git from Ocean Dullard Scene. No, I’m talking about the old English celebrity cook. I’d burn everything, she would then take over and I’d get a break from the Pot Noodles.
What does your mom wish you were doing instead?
Murdoc: Selling Internet pornography, taking the family business into the new millennium and all that.