Gorillaz Questions, Part 2
Flaunt, March 2001
Are you the early signs of a planet ruled by apes?
Russel: Apes have been ruling the planet for quite some time now if you believe what that Johnny-come-lately Darwin has to say about it. Let’s face it, history is just the study of one set of beliefs deposing another, wouldn’t you say?
2D: Yeah, it’s that and all the stuff that happened in the past and then what people have written about it, or the stuff they make programs for the History Channel about. There’s always something weird about guns or Nazis on that channel, I think they should find some more positive themes to focus on. I bet there's not many girls who work for them.
Did you get your name from National Geographic, or from that Ice Cube movie?
Russel: We came up with loads of names, but it was Noodle who saved us in the nick of time just before we went on stage for our first gig at the Camden Brown House.
Noodle: Gorillaz!
When I was five years old, there was a hard-rock band on The Flintstones that played guitars made out of rocks and birds. Do you know those guys and how did they make those birds do that stuff?
Murdoc: I don’t know any Hanna-Barbara characters. You’re an American rock journalist, do you know Lester Bangs or Hunter S. Thompson?
2D: I don’t know for sure, but I reckon they were done in traditional cel animation.
Murdoc: No, you’re thinking of Johnny Depp’s portrayal of an ether binge.
Why does the world need another cartoon band when we've already got Oasis?
2D: That beats asking about Josie and the Pussycats or The Archies, but I’ve seen Oasis live and I wouldn’t say that they’re all that animated. Liam doesn’t really move at all.
Would you describe your "look" as casual business attire?
Murdoc: My look is a timeless style, mate. Can’t go wrong with a v-neck, a mop top, and a packet of ciggies. I guess the others have their own sartorial agendas, even 2D can dress himself, so I’ll have less of your lip.
How did you guys get so into thug life?
Murdoc: I’m not a stupid man, but I’ve got no idea what you’re on about. Is that English?
You seem kind of angry, are you dealing with a lot of frustrations?
Russel: I think Murdoc's answers speak for themselves on that point.
Have you considered having more sex in your videos?
Murdoc: If you consider getting your bollocks grabbed by an undead zombie gorilla sex, then you’re a sicker man than I thought.
What are some of the Gorillaz's secret lovemaking techniques?
2D: It’s like that song from nursery school, The Hokey Cokey, isn’t it? “In, out, in, out, you shake it all about”.
Murdoc: Yeah, “All do the Hokey Cokey! You put you’re whole arm in, your whole arm out…” Nice one, numb nuts.
When you're on tour, do you prefer to smoke banana peels, sniff glue, or hit the nitrous oxide canister?
2D: Asprin and Coca-Cola’s the ones for me.
Murdoc: Yeah, that and half a sack of pharmaceutical downers, mate.
2D: They’re for my headaches Murdoc, you know that.
Murdoc: Whatever you say, junkie.
What's your favourite body of water?
2D: Is this like that game the girls used to play at my school? You know, the one where you have to picture animals, weather conditions, days of the week, time of day, bits of land and like you say, bodies of water and when you finish they say that you’d be a crap shag?
Murdoc: That game is easy man, you say; stallion, elephant or sperm whale, thunderstorm, burning hot desert or mountain, then either the Pacific or the Amazon and Friday Night, Saturday morning. Bob’s your uncle, you’re rutting like a copraphile in a sewage farm.
When Damon Albarn comes by the studio, gets drunk, and passes out, do you ever hide anything down his pants, like gold coins or dinner rolls?
2D: I like Damon, but I’d never go anywhere near his pants when he’s passed out. When he was recording with us, he showed me these big Indian cotton underpants that he was wearing and they were really stinky.
Do you think you might be more popular if you all dressed alike like Stryper?
Murdoc: Salvation Through Redemption, Yielding Peace, Encouragement, and Righteousness my arse! Christian rock bands from the eighties don’t have to be condemned to hell because they are already there. I ask you, why would anybody want to go to heaven when it’s only gonna be filled up with yeasty old Christians? I’d rather fuck a handful of my own shit.
Russel: Damn Murdoc, you are not painting a good picture of yourself here. You just sound like some analy-fixated, mal content.
Murdoc: And your point is?
Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and saviour?
Murdoc: Okay, I’ve had enough now. I can feel you feebly twisting and contorting your pathetic psyche trying to offer us some form of hip, satirical, and oh-so-irreverent line of questioning. Stop it, you’re embarrassing yourself and quite frankly you’re doing my fucking head in.
Have you ever wanted to ride on the back of a killer whale?
2D: This is that game, isn’t it? Okay, I like Hamsters.
Murdoc: I’m bloody warning you, if you want someone to be a bit “we are weird” then you’re out of your depth. I’ll fuck you up and make you my bitch, mate. Why don’t we chat about your huge collection of downloaded porn MPEGs? The ones you’ve beavered away on the office server, in seemingly harmless files, named after bland adjectives. Which you then loop and watch over and over again masturbating, stone-faced, as every fifteen seconds a semi-conscious Asian teenager's track-marked skin is covered in a gritty web of grey German spunk, ay? How do you like them apples?
Russel: I don’t agree with Murdoc too often, at least not on a moral level, but he’s got a point. Please, let’s try and take this to a higher level,
Do you think Bruce Springsteen is great too or is Badly Drawn Boy just some kind of retard?
Murdoc: Now you’re talking! We ask you to raise your game and bada bing you’re scoring in aces. Despite Bruce’s painfully and some might say freak-like short arms, he is without a doubt, the Boss. What though, has that dullard-gnome-man, with his Granny’s tea cozy on his head, got to do with anything?
When you're in public, do you ever "accidentally" pee all over the toilet seat?
2D: I did a pooh on the seat in the loos in the Crawley McDonald’s once.
Murdoc: I never knew that you were such a political activist, Stu-Pot.
2D: Oh yeah, I used to put tins of dog food in with the frozen meat in supermarkets too.
Murdoc: Bravo! Come the revolution ay, brother? Prat.
Do you and Arnold ever get together on Father's Day and go visit Mr. Drummond?
2D: I get it, “What you talking about, Willis?” Right?
Murdoc: Bill Drummond is a god and that’s right, it’s Mr. Drummond to you.
Which one of you is most likely to set his schlong on fire? You know, just for fun.
Murdoc: Done that, next?
What would you do if Iman ever let other supermodels spend the night at your house, and then you all got drunk and everyone shags each other rotten. And the next day you wake up and roll over and see you're lying next to Simon Le Bon, and he's got a stiffy?
Russel: Listen, I’m only gonna tell you this once, we’ve got a ten-year-old in our group and both you and Murdoc should be ashamed of yourselves.
Murdoc: 2D’s just got the mental age of a ten-year-old, the boy’s gotta learn the facts of life sometime.
Russel: You know what I’m talking about Murdoc, but I gotta say, Simon Le Bon’s rotten old, cocaine-addled flesh pipe has nothing to do with any of the facts of life I know about.
What do you tell the barber?
Murdoc: That I’m a milkman. That way I don’t have to put up with any sycophantic drivel.
Do you think when you get rich and famous, you'll get addicted to cocaine, rent a studio in Jamaica, go crazy, crash 18 cars, and make a horrible album?
Murdoc: Oh, how we laughed along with Shaun and Bez as they did permanent physical and mental damage to themselves and those around them. Does the descent of another human being into the anguish and torment of abuse and addiction only represent column space and amusing dinner party banter to you?
Russel: Ow!
Russel: Apes have been ruling the planet for quite some time now if you believe what that Johnny-come-lately Darwin has to say about it. Let’s face it, history is just the study of one set of beliefs deposing another, wouldn’t you say?
2D: Yeah, it’s that and all the stuff that happened in the past and then what people have written about it, or the stuff they make programs for the History Channel about. There’s always something weird about guns or Nazis on that channel, I think they should find some more positive themes to focus on. I bet there's not many girls who work for them.
Did you get your name from National Geographic, or from that Ice Cube movie?
Russel: We came up with loads of names, but it was Noodle who saved us in the nick of time just before we went on stage for our first gig at the Camden Brown House.
Noodle: Gorillaz!
When I was five years old, there was a hard-rock band on The Flintstones that played guitars made out of rocks and birds. Do you know those guys and how did they make those birds do that stuff?
Murdoc: I don’t know any Hanna-Barbara characters. You’re an American rock journalist, do you know Lester Bangs or Hunter S. Thompson?
2D: I don’t know for sure, but I reckon they were done in traditional cel animation.
Murdoc: No, you’re thinking of Johnny Depp’s portrayal of an ether binge.
Why does the world need another cartoon band when we've already got Oasis?
2D: That beats asking about Josie and the Pussycats or The Archies, but I’ve seen Oasis live and I wouldn’t say that they’re all that animated. Liam doesn’t really move at all.
Would you describe your "look" as casual business attire?
Murdoc: My look is a timeless style, mate. Can’t go wrong with a v-neck, a mop top, and a packet of ciggies. I guess the others have their own sartorial agendas, even 2D can dress himself, so I’ll have less of your lip.
How did you guys get so into thug life?
Murdoc: I’m not a stupid man, but I’ve got no idea what you’re on about. Is that English?
You seem kind of angry, are you dealing with a lot of frustrations?
Russel: I think Murdoc's answers speak for themselves on that point.
Have you considered having more sex in your videos?
Murdoc: If you consider getting your bollocks grabbed by an undead zombie gorilla sex, then you’re a sicker man than I thought.
What are some of the Gorillaz's secret lovemaking techniques?
2D: It’s like that song from nursery school, The Hokey Cokey, isn’t it? “In, out, in, out, you shake it all about”.
Murdoc: Yeah, “All do the Hokey Cokey! You put you’re whole arm in, your whole arm out…” Nice one, numb nuts.
When you're on tour, do you prefer to smoke banana peels, sniff glue, or hit the nitrous oxide canister?
2D: Asprin and Coca-Cola’s the ones for me.
Murdoc: Yeah, that and half a sack of pharmaceutical downers, mate.
2D: They’re for my headaches Murdoc, you know that.
Murdoc: Whatever you say, junkie.
What's your favourite body of water?
2D: Is this like that game the girls used to play at my school? You know, the one where you have to picture animals, weather conditions, days of the week, time of day, bits of land and like you say, bodies of water and when you finish they say that you’d be a crap shag?
Murdoc: That game is easy man, you say; stallion, elephant or sperm whale, thunderstorm, burning hot desert or mountain, then either the Pacific or the Amazon and Friday Night, Saturday morning. Bob’s your uncle, you’re rutting like a copraphile in a sewage farm.
When Damon Albarn comes by the studio, gets drunk, and passes out, do you ever hide anything down his pants, like gold coins or dinner rolls?
2D: I like Damon, but I’d never go anywhere near his pants when he’s passed out. When he was recording with us, he showed me these big Indian cotton underpants that he was wearing and they were really stinky.
Do you think you might be more popular if you all dressed alike like Stryper?
Murdoc: Salvation Through Redemption, Yielding Peace, Encouragement, and Righteousness my arse! Christian rock bands from the eighties don’t have to be condemned to hell because they are already there. I ask you, why would anybody want to go to heaven when it’s only gonna be filled up with yeasty old Christians? I’d rather fuck a handful of my own shit.
Russel: Damn Murdoc, you are not painting a good picture of yourself here. You just sound like some analy-fixated, mal content.
Murdoc: And your point is?
Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and saviour?
Murdoc: Okay, I’ve had enough now. I can feel you feebly twisting and contorting your pathetic psyche trying to offer us some form of hip, satirical, and oh-so-irreverent line of questioning. Stop it, you’re embarrassing yourself and quite frankly you’re doing my fucking head in.
Have you ever wanted to ride on the back of a killer whale?
2D: This is that game, isn’t it? Okay, I like Hamsters.
Murdoc: I’m bloody warning you, if you want someone to be a bit “we are weird” then you’re out of your depth. I’ll fuck you up and make you my bitch, mate. Why don’t we chat about your huge collection of downloaded porn MPEGs? The ones you’ve beavered away on the office server, in seemingly harmless files, named after bland adjectives. Which you then loop and watch over and over again masturbating, stone-faced, as every fifteen seconds a semi-conscious Asian teenager's track-marked skin is covered in a gritty web of grey German spunk, ay? How do you like them apples?
Russel: I don’t agree with Murdoc too often, at least not on a moral level, but he’s got a point. Please, let’s try and take this to a higher level,
Do you think Bruce Springsteen is great too or is Badly Drawn Boy just some kind of retard?
Murdoc: Now you’re talking! We ask you to raise your game and bada bing you’re scoring in aces. Despite Bruce’s painfully and some might say freak-like short arms, he is without a doubt, the Boss. What though, has that dullard-gnome-man, with his Granny’s tea cozy on his head, got to do with anything?
When you're in public, do you ever "accidentally" pee all over the toilet seat?
2D: I did a pooh on the seat in the loos in the Crawley McDonald’s once.
Murdoc: I never knew that you were such a political activist, Stu-Pot.
2D: Oh yeah, I used to put tins of dog food in with the frozen meat in supermarkets too.
Murdoc: Bravo! Come the revolution ay, brother? Prat.
Do you and Arnold ever get together on Father's Day and go visit Mr. Drummond?
2D: I get it, “What you talking about, Willis?” Right?
Murdoc: Bill Drummond is a god and that’s right, it’s Mr. Drummond to you.
Which one of you is most likely to set his schlong on fire? You know, just for fun.
Murdoc: Done that, next?
What would you do if Iman ever let other supermodels spend the night at your house, and then you all got drunk and everyone shags each other rotten. And the next day you wake up and roll over and see you're lying next to Simon Le Bon, and he's got a stiffy?
Russel: Listen, I’m only gonna tell you this once, we’ve got a ten-year-old in our group and both you and Murdoc should be ashamed of yourselves.
Murdoc: 2D’s just got the mental age of a ten-year-old, the boy’s gotta learn the facts of life sometime.
Russel: You know what I’m talking about Murdoc, but I gotta say, Simon Le Bon’s rotten old, cocaine-addled flesh pipe has nothing to do with any of the facts of life I know about.
What do you tell the barber?
Murdoc: That I’m a milkman. That way I don’t have to put up with any sycophantic drivel.
Do you think when you get rich and famous, you'll get addicted to cocaine, rent a studio in Jamaica, go crazy, crash 18 cars, and make a horrible album?
Murdoc: Oh, how we laughed along with Shaun and Bez as they did permanent physical and mental damage to themselves and those around them. Does the descent of another human being into the anguish and torment of abuse and addiction only represent column space and amusing dinner party banter to you?
Russel: Ow!