Gorillaz Interview
Mixmag, October 2001
Why did you spurn the Mercury Music Prize money of £20 000 only to spent £20 000 on an animated acceptance for an MTV award you didn't win?
Murdoc: Wow! If I had a quid for every time I’ve been asked that question I’d have enough to get a cab round your place and shove my black Amex card up your arse. I make artistic statements, not one’s based on financial necessity. The Mercury prize is shit. Anyway it didn’t cost £20,000 grand to animate that speech, it cost £20 and in your dreams you ain’t even got 20p.
Do you cartoon characters find it hard to interact with real human beings like Ed Case and Sweetie Irie?
Murdoc: I didn’t think they could tell the difference, the amount of other jokers they’ve had to deal with.
Tell us a Gorillaz secret.
Russel: We think Noodle may be a fully trained killing machine from some secret underground Japanese army but we ain’t sure. Some words seem to set her off and she goes ballistic.
We know you've got sunshine in a bag, but what else is in there?
Murdoc: What’s in my bag? A little bit of dog shit, 10p to phone my mum and a toenail jar with specimens from all the people we’ve met. We work with Augustus Pablo’s bass player Dan Junior while we were in Jamaica, a great bass player but he’s got terrible foot hygiene. My one is three inches long, and glows at night just like Liam’s cock.
2D, have you had more sex this year than that Damon out of Blur?
2D: We played “Double or quits”. For every one he shagged, I had to do two. I got really sore.
2D, could you duff up Tank Girl?
2D: She’s been up the duff for years. That’s why she’s been away so long.
Have you made enough money to buy a big house? A very big house? In the country?
Murdoc: It’s in Chiswick actually. Just of the Acton Lane, old bean.
How come none of you made it into Planet of the Apes? Or Shrek?
Russel: We were up for parts in Shrek, but they had random drug tests. They found loads of body building gloop in Murdoc. “Bulk”, “Mass” and “Bodyprotein” all this nasty stuff. But, anyway, we heard Danny from Hear'Say got the title role, so we weren’t bothered.
UK Garage: the sound of underground or the sound of JD Sports?
Noodle: It sounds like a sweaty young boy’s locker. They’ve all got verrucas and trapped cheese in their bell ends.
Russel: Noodle!
2D: What did she say?
Murdoc: I’m disgusted, tell her Russ’, I won’t go on if she can’t be civil.
Tell us about one night out when you really should have stayed in.
Murdoc: New Year’s Eve 1999. That night round at Albarn and Hewlett’s flat. I poisoned Albarn, so for him he managed to stay in and go right out at the same time.
What was the best record of 2001?
2D: I like “Rings Around the World” by Super Furry Animals.
Murdoc: You cant beat “People = Shit” by Slipknot and soooo true.
Russel: Roots Manuva “Witness”.
Noodle: (translated from Japanese). The best record of the year was P.J. Harvey’s album.
What was the worst record of 2001?
Murdoc: Arrrrgh! That f**king Louise cover of “Stuck in the Middle” the girl can barely talk.
Where were you when the World Trade Centre was hit?
Russel: We we’re online as it was going on, talking to the people.
Hero of 2001?
Noodle: (translated from Japanese) .I think Hal was the real hero of 2001. A true voice of reason.
Villain of 2001?
Murdoc: Arthur C. Clarke for doing the Len Fairclough butterfly stroke with little Thai boys. Hmmm.
Best sexual experience of 2001?
Murdoc: I got a King Charles cocker spaniel to lick Marmite off of my balls. You either love it or you hate it. But seriously, It’s in their eyes. The way they look at you.
Russel: Man, you should never rub yeast extract into animals’ eyes Mud’s. You’re sick.
Best night out?
Murdoc: Best night out? Oh I went out a couple of times with Robert Downey Jr. We got well, errr, “Krunked Up”. And when we got home I made sure he was properly tucked up in bed. With his gun. In someone else’s bed. A young child in fact, a couple of doors down from were he lives.
2D: I bet Robert Downey Snr was well angry.
Murdoc: What?
Favourite MC of 2001?
Murdoc: Hey Russel. Whose your favourite MC…McDonald’s?
Russel: Real funny, Mud’s pick on the fat guy.
What’s the most fucked you've been in 2001?
Russel: Hey Murdoc. How about that time you got mistaken for Annabel Chong. Boy did you get fucked that night. Ha Ha!
Murdoc: We will talk of this no more
Which high street shop played the best music in 2001?
Murdoc: Oooh. That’d be Clark’s. I always go in there when I’m right out of my head and just stare at the shoes. Once I lifted my balls with shoehorn into the foot-measuring machine. Top buzz. Nice one
What was your most star-studded moment of the year?
Murdoc: I gate-crashed a looky likey party and ended up in the lav sandwiched between two Brian Mays from Queen, with a male Liza Minelli and a Princess Di/Sophie Rhys Jones double. They were all try'na get a glimpse of my animated todger. I was the only real star there.
Russel: I tripped up on the red carpet at the MTV Awards and ended up with my head wedged between Bustah Rhyme’s butt cheeks.
Murdoc: I prefer my one.
When did you cry in 2001?
Russel: When Murdoc burnt the face off my eel.
Did you shout "booo!", "bangin" or "get krunked up" this year?
Murdoc: I’ve never heard the phrase “Get Krunked Up” before today, but I guarantee I’ll being using it in 2002.
When was the last time you were recognised?
Russel: The Online Awards where we were recognised as an important force in the industry.
2D: Mr Bilowdi who run’s the corner store always recognises me. He even lets me come back and pay him later if I don’t have enough cash on me. He’s great but he smells a bit funny.
What are you doing for New Years Eve?
Murdoc: Errm. You can stop asking. You’re not coming.
What do you want for Christmas?
Murdoc: What’s your budget? I want Hell on earth, and it looks like I’m getting it too.
Who was faking it in 2001?
Murdoc: Me, when I got mistaken for Annabel Chong. I had to put on such a brave face. But the show must go on. I saw some film with Nikki Taylor recently, and she certainly wasn’t faking it. Very keen.
Which big album didn't live up to the hype?
Murdoc: There was Big Fun and Mr Big who did a cover of “Baby it’s a Wild World” and personally I don’t think Notorious was all that.
Ten hour progressive house DJ sets: a fantastic voyage or boring as broad beans?
2D: Depends what the broadbeans are cooked with. Steamed with garlic and nutmeg is fine.
What was the last bootleg you played?
Murdoc: I played John Lennon in The Bootleg Beatles but I made a quick exit when they booked me into the Dakota, there was nothing suite about that gig, brother!
2D: I’ve got “Live at the Khubla Khan” with Olivia Newton John.
Bootlegs or remixes?
Russel: I like Bootlegs. Remixes are there to serve a purpose where as bootlegs are just put out cos people just dug something about the track.
2D: Apparently James Brown uses hand signals to direct his gigs you know? What’s it called…sophomore?
Murdoc: It’s semaphore you idiot. Hey that sounds like a Ramones song “One two three four…Sophomore Semaphore! Hey Ho…noooooooow!”
Russel: I’d like to thank the two of you for steering this interview headlong into the arms of irrelevance.
Clubs. Are they just a chemical world?
2D: They are. That and the only thing that’s keeping the market for glitter, feather boas and crappy pastel cowboy hats. Help me I’m tripping. I love you, you bastard e.t.c.
How much money did you make in the last 12 months?
2D: Hundreds?
What did you learn in 2001?
Murdoc: It’s nice to be important but it’s important to be nice. You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead. You don’t get many of them to the pound. What a good year for the roses and my old mans a dustman fuck off.
What did you do this year that you won't be doing next?
Murdoc: Watching endless episodes of Saved by the Bell and Grange Hill on our tour bus and debating the intrinsic differences between Britain and America. It all boils down to swearing. They’re no good at it, the cock suckers.
Did you get in any fights?
2D: I nearly got into one when I tagged up on the back of Brian Harvey’s head.
Russel: I didn’t see that.
2D: Neither did he.
Russel: Murdoc, you got into a fight with the Wu Tang Clan.
Murdoc: Yes, yes, yes, yes it was me verses RIZLA, Dirty Old Bastard and the Rhythm Method Man. I kicked their arses around all thirty-six chambers.
Russel: No you didn’t. You ended up in the gravel pit.
What was the naughtiest thing you did this year?
Murdoc: I stuck my dick in the potato salad!
Russel: You’re neither Richard Pryor nor the Beastie Boys
Murdoc: Neither are they.
What was the worst rumour you heard about yourself?
Murdoc: I heard that I was in hiding, frightened for my life, hounded by deranged celebrity stalkers.
2D: Ew! No wonder, that’s horrible. I’d hide from famous people were coming after me with hard-on’s! You’d think they’d know better.
What was your weirdest dream?
Murdoc: I had this dream where this dog had the face of Nicholas Lyndhurst and there was a woman in it who also had his face too. The dog was trying to stick Nicholas’s face up his own skirt…
Russel: Murdoc that wasn’t a dream that was an advert for Woolworth’s.
2D: What were they advertising? A new movie called “Being Nichols Lyndhurstvich”?
Murdoc: Surreal!
Russel: Yeah, surreally stupid.
How often did you fart?
Russel: Who counts that type of shit?
How many clubs did you go to just for fun?
2D: We were going to see a late night screening of Fight Club but I’d miss read the listings and we ended up seeing a movie called Fuck Club. It was quiet good, we bumped into Mariella Frostrop there.
Who had the best bum of 2001?
Murdoc: Kylie. It’s perfect, there’s a crack in the middle and a hole where shit comes out of. What more do you want out of an arse?
Murdoc: Wow! If I had a quid for every time I’ve been asked that question I’d have enough to get a cab round your place and shove my black Amex card up your arse. I make artistic statements, not one’s based on financial necessity. The Mercury prize is shit. Anyway it didn’t cost £20,000 grand to animate that speech, it cost £20 and in your dreams you ain’t even got 20p.
Do you cartoon characters find it hard to interact with real human beings like Ed Case and Sweetie Irie?
Murdoc: I didn’t think they could tell the difference, the amount of other jokers they’ve had to deal with.
Tell us a Gorillaz secret.
Russel: We think Noodle may be a fully trained killing machine from some secret underground Japanese army but we ain’t sure. Some words seem to set her off and she goes ballistic.
We know you've got sunshine in a bag, but what else is in there?
Murdoc: What’s in my bag? A little bit of dog shit, 10p to phone my mum and a toenail jar with specimens from all the people we’ve met. We work with Augustus Pablo’s bass player Dan Junior while we were in Jamaica, a great bass player but he’s got terrible foot hygiene. My one is three inches long, and glows at night just like Liam’s cock.
2D, have you had more sex this year than that Damon out of Blur?
2D: We played “Double or quits”. For every one he shagged, I had to do two. I got really sore.
2D, could you duff up Tank Girl?
2D: She’s been up the duff for years. That’s why she’s been away so long.
Have you made enough money to buy a big house? A very big house? In the country?
Murdoc: It’s in Chiswick actually. Just of the Acton Lane, old bean.
How come none of you made it into Planet of the Apes? Or Shrek?
Russel: We were up for parts in Shrek, but they had random drug tests. They found loads of body building gloop in Murdoc. “Bulk”, “Mass” and “Bodyprotein” all this nasty stuff. But, anyway, we heard Danny from Hear'Say got the title role, so we weren’t bothered.
UK Garage: the sound of underground or the sound of JD Sports?
Noodle: It sounds like a sweaty young boy’s locker. They’ve all got verrucas and trapped cheese in their bell ends.
Russel: Noodle!
2D: What did she say?
Murdoc: I’m disgusted, tell her Russ’, I won’t go on if she can’t be civil.
Tell us about one night out when you really should have stayed in.
Murdoc: New Year’s Eve 1999. That night round at Albarn and Hewlett’s flat. I poisoned Albarn, so for him he managed to stay in and go right out at the same time.
What was the best record of 2001?
2D: I like “Rings Around the World” by Super Furry Animals.
Murdoc: You cant beat “People = Shit” by Slipknot and soooo true.
Russel: Roots Manuva “Witness”.
Noodle: (translated from Japanese). The best record of the year was P.J. Harvey’s album.
What was the worst record of 2001?
Murdoc: Arrrrgh! That f**king Louise cover of “Stuck in the Middle” the girl can barely talk.
Where were you when the World Trade Centre was hit?
Russel: We we’re online as it was going on, talking to the people.
Hero of 2001?
Noodle: (translated from Japanese) .I think Hal was the real hero of 2001. A true voice of reason.
Villain of 2001?
Murdoc: Arthur C. Clarke for doing the Len Fairclough butterfly stroke with little Thai boys. Hmmm.
Best sexual experience of 2001?
Murdoc: I got a King Charles cocker spaniel to lick Marmite off of my balls. You either love it or you hate it. But seriously, It’s in their eyes. The way they look at you.
Russel: Man, you should never rub yeast extract into animals’ eyes Mud’s. You’re sick.
Best night out?
Murdoc: Best night out? Oh I went out a couple of times with Robert Downey Jr. We got well, errr, “Krunked Up”. And when we got home I made sure he was properly tucked up in bed. With his gun. In someone else’s bed. A young child in fact, a couple of doors down from were he lives.
2D: I bet Robert Downey Snr was well angry.
Murdoc: What?
Favourite MC of 2001?
Murdoc: Hey Russel. Whose your favourite MC…McDonald’s?
Russel: Real funny, Mud’s pick on the fat guy.
What’s the most fucked you've been in 2001?
Russel: Hey Murdoc. How about that time you got mistaken for Annabel Chong. Boy did you get fucked that night. Ha Ha!
Murdoc: We will talk of this no more
Which high street shop played the best music in 2001?
Murdoc: Oooh. That’d be Clark’s. I always go in there when I’m right out of my head and just stare at the shoes. Once I lifted my balls with shoehorn into the foot-measuring machine. Top buzz. Nice one
What was your most star-studded moment of the year?
Murdoc: I gate-crashed a looky likey party and ended up in the lav sandwiched between two Brian Mays from Queen, with a male Liza Minelli and a Princess Di/Sophie Rhys Jones double. They were all try'na get a glimpse of my animated todger. I was the only real star there.
Russel: I tripped up on the red carpet at the MTV Awards and ended up with my head wedged between Bustah Rhyme’s butt cheeks.
Murdoc: I prefer my one.
When did you cry in 2001?
Russel: When Murdoc burnt the face off my eel.
Did you shout "booo!", "bangin" or "get krunked up" this year?
Murdoc: I’ve never heard the phrase “Get Krunked Up” before today, but I guarantee I’ll being using it in 2002.
When was the last time you were recognised?
Russel: The Online Awards where we were recognised as an important force in the industry.
2D: Mr Bilowdi who run’s the corner store always recognises me. He even lets me come back and pay him later if I don’t have enough cash on me. He’s great but he smells a bit funny.
What are you doing for New Years Eve?
Murdoc: Errm. You can stop asking. You’re not coming.
What do you want for Christmas?
Murdoc: What’s your budget? I want Hell on earth, and it looks like I’m getting it too.
Who was faking it in 2001?
Murdoc: Me, when I got mistaken for Annabel Chong. I had to put on such a brave face. But the show must go on. I saw some film with Nikki Taylor recently, and she certainly wasn’t faking it. Very keen.
Which big album didn't live up to the hype?
Murdoc: There was Big Fun and Mr Big who did a cover of “Baby it’s a Wild World” and personally I don’t think Notorious was all that.
Ten hour progressive house DJ sets: a fantastic voyage or boring as broad beans?
2D: Depends what the broadbeans are cooked with. Steamed with garlic and nutmeg is fine.
What was the last bootleg you played?
Murdoc: I played John Lennon in The Bootleg Beatles but I made a quick exit when they booked me into the Dakota, there was nothing suite about that gig, brother!
2D: I’ve got “Live at the Khubla Khan” with Olivia Newton John.
Bootlegs or remixes?
Russel: I like Bootlegs. Remixes are there to serve a purpose where as bootlegs are just put out cos people just dug something about the track.
2D: Apparently James Brown uses hand signals to direct his gigs you know? What’s it called…sophomore?
Murdoc: It’s semaphore you idiot. Hey that sounds like a Ramones song “One two three four…Sophomore Semaphore! Hey Ho…noooooooow!”
Russel: I’d like to thank the two of you for steering this interview headlong into the arms of irrelevance.
Clubs. Are they just a chemical world?
2D: They are. That and the only thing that’s keeping the market for glitter, feather boas and crappy pastel cowboy hats. Help me I’m tripping. I love you, you bastard e.t.c.
How much money did you make in the last 12 months?
2D: Hundreds?
What did you learn in 2001?
Murdoc: It’s nice to be important but it’s important to be nice. You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead. You don’t get many of them to the pound. What a good year for the roses and my old mans a dustman fuck off.
What did you do this year that you won't be doing next?
Murdoc: Watching endless episodes of Saved by the Bell and Grange Hill on our tour bus and debating the intrinsic differences between Britain and America. It all boils down to swearing. They’re no good at it, the cock suckers.
Did you get in any fights?
2D: I nearly got into one when I tagged up on the back of Brian Harvey’s head.
Russel: I didn’t see that.
2D: Neither did he.
Russel: Murdoc, you got into a fight with the Wu Tang Clan.
Murdoc: Yes, yes, yes, yes it was me verses RIZLA, Dirty Old Bastard and the Rhythm Method Man. I kicked their arses around all thirty-six chambers.
Russel: No you didn’t. You ended up in the gravel pit.
What was the naughtiest thing you did this year?
Murdoc: I stuck my dick in the potato salad!
Russel: You’re neither Richard Pryor nor the Beastie Boys
Murdoc: Neither are they.
What was the worst rumour you heard about yourself?
Murdoc: I heard that I was in hiding, frightened for my life, hounded by deranged celebrity stalkers.
2D: Ew! No wonder, that’s horrible. I’d hide from famous people were coming after me with hard-on’s! You’d think they’d know better.
What was your weirdest dream?
Murdoc: I had this dream where this dog had the face of Nicholas Lyndhurst and there was a woman in it who also had his face too. The dog was trying to stick Nicholas’s face up his own skirt…
Russel: Murdoc that wasn’t a dream that was an advert for Woolworth’s.
2D: What were they advertising? A new movie called “Being Nichols Lyndhurstvich”?
Murdoc: Surreal!
Russel: Yeah, surreally stupid.
How often did you fart?
Russel: Who counts that type of shit?
How many clubs did you go to just for fun?
2D: We were going to see a late night screening of Fight Club but I’d miss read the listings and we ended up seeing a movie called Fuck Club. It was quiet good, we bumped into Mariella Frostrop there.
Who had the best bum of 2001?
Murdoc: Kylie. It’s perfect, there’s a crack in the middle and a hole where shit comes out of. What more do you want out of an arse?