Gorillaz Interview
Austrian Youth Magazine, February 2001
Murdoc
You are the boss. So, what are the plans for the future?
Murdoc: I envisage a smorgasbord of sexual liaisons with nubile young fillies from my glands-end to me old–john-o’-scrot’. Then, after my coronation, I’ll make porn, smoking, and love bites compulsory on the national curriculum, and I will be setting exams. This will be followed by a swift but extremely painful eradication of all of the feeble-minded, consciousness-choking, half-arsed, lowest-common-denominator dross that passes for popular entertainment across the board in all contemporary forms of so-called entertainment.
2D: Yeah, so look out Grandad your days are numbered!
Murdoc: Who pulled your chain, face-ache? Shuttit, the question was addressed to me.
If Noodle were ten years older, would she be your girlfriend?
Murdoc: Metaphysics are not of any use, I’ll only answer questions with any empirical value. Ha! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! Is that the sound of dictionaries rustling I hear?
Why don't you like 2D?
Murdoc: What’s to like? 2D’s so dosed up on painkillers and suppressants that you can actually hear white noise if you get too close to his ear hole. That is if he’s not mindlessly wittering on about yet another inane loser from his family tree or some nugget of confused half-forgotten shite from his murky subconscious, d’ya get me? Not only is there nobody home but the lights aren’t even on. The boy is a pretty dullard who is nothing but a pawn in my master plan. Hail Satan!
Can we go on a date?
Murdoc: Too right love, do you want me to get the pizzas in or shall we just get down to making the beast with two backs?
2D
Why don't you do anything against being beaten up by Murdoc? Be a Man!
2D: When I was a kid, my Mum told me that if anybody started on me in the playground I should punch them in the nose. So when Chelsea Bonnet started pushing me around when we were playing British bulldogs, I punched him and he just punched me back and it really bloody hurt. Being a man has nothing to do with fighting, you’re getting masculinity mixed up with moronity or something.
Murdoc: You’re lucky, you got wittering and made-up words. You, my son, should be Mencap's international ambassador.
2D: I’d like that!
You are a quite nice guy. How do you feel about being a womanizer?
2D: Ta very much. I don’t feel anything about being whatchamanizer thingyamybob I don’t think. What is one of them things anyway?
Can we go on a date?
2D: Err! Didn’t you just ask Murdoc that? You’re dirty!
Murdoc: Dirty I don’t mind, but bad taste I cannot abide!
Russel
I like your tattoo. What do you want to tell the world with it?
Russel: Well, I tell the world that I like ducks.
Without you, Gorillaz couldn’t survive. So, why do you accept mad Murdoc as a bandleader?
Russel: Just because the boy thinks he’s Keith Richards, I don’t think you’ll find him wearing a T-shirt that says “Who the Fuck is Russel Hobbs” you dig? Murdoc, 2D, Noodle, and I might not always see eye to eye but we do make sweet music together, and I don’t mean we get jiggy.
I love your solid safety. Can we go on a date?
Russel: Jesus girl! You wanna slow down, are you on a sponsored shag-a-thon or something?
Murdoc: I’ll give you fifty pence a go, but I want proof that you have done it with everyone that you say you have.
Noodle
What does a tough girl do in this band?
Noodle: I play the guitar.
Russel: She says she plays the guitar.
I like your hat. Can I buy it somewhere?
Noodle: No, this is my hat and it is not for sale.
Russel: I think she had it made to her own design so you’re out of luck there, miss.
Murdoc, Russel, 2D. Who do you like most?
Noodle: I love all of my fellow Gorillaz. Russel and 2D are like my big brothers, and Murdoc is very naughty.
Russel: She loves us all and we all love her, she’s da bomb.
How do you feel about being my idol?
Noodle: I am extremely honored.
Murdoc: Aren’t you gonna ask her out on a date too, or does she have to be ten years older for you to fancy her?
You are the boss. So, what are the plans for the future?
Murdoc: I envisage a smorgasbord of sexual liaisons with nubile young fillies from my glands-end to me old–john-o’-scrot’. Then, after my coronation, I’ll make porn, smoking, and love bites compulsory on the national curriculum, and I will be setting exams. This will be followed by a swift but extremely painful eradication of all of the feeble-minded, consciousness-choking, half-arsed, lowest-common-denominator dross that passes for popular entertainment across the board in all contemporary forms of so-called entertainment.
2D: Yeah, so look out Grandad your days are numbered!
Murdoc: Who pulled your chain, face-ache? Shuttit, the question was addressed to me.
If Noodle were ten years older, would she be your girlfriend?
Murdoc: Metaphysics are not of any use, I’ll only answer questions with any empirical value. Ha! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! Is that the sound of dictionaries rustling I hear?
Why don't you like 2D?
Murdoc: What’s to like? 2D’s so dosed up on painkillers and suppressants that you can actually hear white noise if you get too close to his ear hole. That is if he’s not mindlessly wittering on about yet another inane loser from his family tree or some nugget of confused half-forgotten shite from his murky subconscious, d’ya get me? Not only is there nobody home but the lights aren’t even on. The boy is a pretty dullard who is nothing but a pawn in my master plan. Hail Satan!
Can we go on a date?
Murdoc: Too right love, do you want me to get the pizzas in or shall we just get down to making the beast with two backs?
2D
Why don't you do anything against being beaten up by Murdoc? Be a Man!
2D: When I was a kid, my Mum told me that if anybody started on me in the playground I should punch them in the nose. So when Chelsea Bonnet started pushing me around when we were playing British bulldogs, I punched him and he just punched me back and it really bloody hurt. Being a man has nothing to do with fighting, you’re getting masculinity mixed up with moronity or something.
Murdoc: You’re lucky, you got wittering and made-up words. You, my son, should be Mencap's international ambassador.
2D: I’d like that!
You are a quite nice guy. How do you feel about being a womanizer?
2D: Ta very much. I don’t feel anything about being whatchamanizer thingyamybob I don’t think. What is one of them things anyway?
Can we go on a date?
2D: Err! Didn’t you just ask Murdoc that? You’re dirty!
Murdoc: Dirty I don’t mind, but bad taste I cannot abide!
Russel
I like your tattoo. What do you want to tell the world with it?
Russel: Well, I tell the world that I like ducks.
Without you, Gorillaz couldn’t survive. So, why do you accept mad Murdoc as a bandleader?
Russel: Just because the boy thinks he’s Keith Richards, I don’t think you’ll find him wearing a T-shirt that says “Who the Fuck is Russel Hobbs” you dig? Murdoc, 2D, Noodle, and I might not always see eye to eye but we do make sweet music together, and I don’t mean we get jiggy.
I love your solid safety. Can we go on a date?
Russel: Jesus girl! You wanna slow down, are you on a sponsored shag-a-thon or something?
Murdoc: I’ll give you fifty pence a go, but I want proof that you have done it with everyone that you say you have.
Noodle
What does a tough girl do in this band?
Noodle: I play the guitar.
Russel: She says she plays the guitar.
I like your hat. Can I buy it somewhere?
Noodle: No, this is my hat and it is not for sale.
Russel: I think she had it made to her own design so you’re out of luck there, miss.
Murdoc, Russel, 2D. Who do you like most?
Noodle: I love all of my fellow Gorillaz. Russel and 2D are like my big brothers, and Murdoc is very naughty.
Russel: She loves us all and we all love her, she’s da bomb.
How do you feel about being my idol?
Noodle: I am extremely honored.
Murdoc: Aren’t you gonna ask her out on a date too, or does she have to be ten years older for you to fancy her?