Festival Guide Vox Pops
Time Out, May 2001
What is your most sacred festival survival tip, and why?
Murdoc: Find out where the hippies are at! They themselves deserve everything they get but there's always this whole "Being nude is natural" thing going on around them and once you've picked your way through the sag and flab, there's always a little free-spirited clubber chick or two who're joining in, blissed out on whatever, then before you know it Bob is indeed your uncle.
Russel: What a lovely image of peace, love, and music you paint!
2D: No, Murdoc's right. They always have a hose pipe where you can wash your bum out too, which is really necessary after a weekend belly full of Vegan curry mixed with...
Murdoc: Yeah, alright Stu-Pot, I think everybody gets the picture!
Describe your worst-ever Festival experience.
2D: I was in the dance tent at Glastonbury when one of the silage trucks that empty the amassed pooh out of the toilet ditches was switched to "pump out" instead of "suck up", and fifteen tons of human doo-doo was emptied over a crowd of shit-faced party goers in the middle of an uplifting, hands in the air, mouths open, house break!
Murdoc: Shit-faced, heh! Nice one, numb nuts!
Describe your best-ever Festival experience.
2D: I was hanging my bum over the bar over the toilet ditch, curling down a General Sherman when through my confused state I could clearly hear someone shouting "Trips, trips". It wasn't coming from outside and was quite honestly freaking me out a bit, anyway, when I stood up and looked down into the pooh pit I saw a crazed member of the Brew Crew psychotically trying to push his hallucinogenics on the amassed rows of festival botties!
Murdoc: Hehehehe! I think you could safely say that this brown acid was definitely poison that year!
Russel: Jeez! That's enough with the "Toilet ditch" turd tales you two, you with me? People don't want to know!
How much will you miss Glastonbury and why?
Murdoc: I never go if it's raining. That stuff ain't ordinary mud, you know! That stuff is a year's worth of cow pats churned up into a black, knee-deep, urinal tract infection zone! So I'll only be missing it if the sun has got his hat on, but then again, I don't mind the Summer in the city. And I'm not talking about The Loving Spoonful! At least that way I won't have to be avoiding herds of illuminous cretins talking bollocks!
Russel: Hmmmmm, I think there is a good time to draw a close to this conversation! It's clear where the minds of these two reside! Peace out!
Murdoc: Find out where the hippies are at! They themselves deserve everything they get but there's always this whole "Being nude is natural" thing going on around them and once you've picked your way through the sag and flab, there's always a little free-spirited clubber chick or two who're joining in, blissed out on whatever, then before you know it Bob is indeed your uncle.
Russel: What a lovely image of peace, love, and music you paint!
2D: No, Murdoc's right. They always have a hose pipe where you can wash your bum out too, which is really necessary after a weekend belly full of Vegan curry mixed with...
Murdoc: Yeah, alright Stu-Pot, I think everybody gets the picture!
Describe your worst-ever Festival experience.
2D: I was in the dance tent at Glastonbury when one of the silage trucks that empty the amassed pooh out of the toilet ditches was switched to "pump out" instead of "suck up", and fifteen tons of human doo-doo was emptied over a crowd of shit-faced party goers in the middle of an uplifting, hands in the air, mouths open, house break!
Murdoc: Shit-faced, heh! Nice one, numb nuts!
Describe your best-ever Festival experience.
2D: I was hanging my bum over the bar over the toilet ditch, curling down a General Sherman when through my confused state I could clearly hear someone shouting "Trips, trips". It wasn't coming from outside and was quite honestly freaking me out a bit, anyway, when I stood up and looked down into the pooh pit I saw a crazed member of the Brew Crew psychotically trying to push his hallucinogenics on the amassed rows of festival botties!
Murdoc: Hehehehe! I think you could safely say that this brown acid was definitely poison that year!
Russel: Jeez! That's enough with the "Toilet ditch" turd tales you two, you with me? People don't want to know!
How much will you miss Glastonbury and why?
Murdoc: I never go if it's raining. That stuff ain't ordinary mud, you know! That stuff is a year's worth of cow pats churned up into a black, knee-deep, urinal tract infection zone! So I'll only be missing it if the sun has got his hat on, but then again, I don't mind the Summer in the city. And I'm not talking about The Loving Spoonful! At least that way I won't have to be avoiding herds of illuminous cretins talking bollocks!
Russel: Hmmmmm, I think there is a good time to draw a close to this conversation! It's clear where the minds of these two reside! Peace out!