Child Support
Dear Mr D,
It has come to our attention that you have missed several of your payments due to various different children. While we do accept that some of the payment may be delayed due to the late arrival of DNA results, the four or five cases that have been proved undeniably are now outstanding. The spikey bule hair on these offspring is a dead giveaway.
Moreover, we are more than certain that you do indeed have the funds to pay for their upkeep as shown by your recent purchase of a Triple-Screen Plasma Entertainment System, with the extra pong balls too. In order to avoid prosecution I strongly suggest that you send payment immediately to the previously stated addreses. I trust that your response will be swift. Oh, by the way. Your singing on that new Gorillaz tune Feelgood Inc is like...'dead good'
I do hope we don't have to take this matter any futher.
Regards,
Dan Dennis.
UK Child Support Agency
It has come to our attention that you have missed several of your payments due to various different children. While we do accept that some of the payment may be delayed due to the late arrival of DNA results, the four or five cases that have been proved undeniably are now outstanding. The spikey bule hair on these offspring is a dead giveaway.
Moreover, we are more than certain that you do indeed have the funds to pay for their upkeep as shown by your recent purchase of a Triple-Screen Plasma Entertainment System, with the extra pong balls too. In order to avoid prosecution I strongly suggest that you send payment immediately to the previously stated addreses. I trust that your response will be swift. Oh, by the way. Your singing on that new Gorillaz tune Feelgood Inc is like...'dead good'
I do hope we don't have to take this matter any futher.
Regards,
Dan Dennis.
UK Child Support Agency