2-D
Hit twice on the head when young, 2D is a sweetheart with a blank sheet of paper where a brain should be. He has really good hair. People think he's cool and enigmatic but he's just got a migraine. 2D idolises Murdoc, who, he feels, saved his life. Keyboard wizard, melodica maniac, graffiti compulsive and the perfect pin-up product. Voice like an angel, arse like a satsuma. Mind full of zombies and painkillers. Says nothing controversial. Says nothing much at all. Loved by everyone (except the green-eyed Murdoc), 2D has legions of lady followers and would make a lovely boyfriend if only he'd wake up. Born: Crawley. Age: 23. Influences: Butorphanol, Tartrate, Phill Oakey, Lucio Fulci.
2D is only vaguely aware of his incredible success. The blue-haired poster boy has described the tidal wave as "er... wicked." While his migraines, graffiti complusion and melodica mania may have given away to him becoming a "Cosmonaut of Inner Space," he's still navigating with a hand-sprayed map. His good work for the Free Tibet campaign must, 2D contests, prove his naysayers "wrong or something?" God help him if he ever had to get a proper job! Future projects: Clocking Tetris and meeting the young David Cassidy. When asked what the future holds, he said: "That's for you to know and me to find out... no... wait a minute..."
Fire Coming Out Of The Monkeys Head
2D hung around in L.A. for a while, mainly with that Brian Setzer of 'Stray Cat Strut' fame. It was through Brian that 2D met Britt Ekland. 'Yeah she's nice. I fancied her since Murdoc lent me his copy of the Wickerman. But her arse looks a lot smaller in real life.' However ultimately aimless and deeply disillusioned, 2D pissed off back to England to get his head together.
He went back home to see his dad who runs the local fun fair down in Eastbourne, who gave 2D a job collecting money from the 'Switchback Ride'. Hopping from carriage to carriage, chatting up birds, these were the greatest days of 2D's life. He also became good mates with Shane Lynch, Ex-Boyzone, who took the money on The Waltzer.
The pair became inseparable, working the rides by day and cruising the town by night. God knows how many blue-haired babies there must be out there! Adopting the teddy boy look with drainpipe jeans and his hair slicked into greasy quiff, 2D became a local celebrity all over again; the star of the dodgems, and King of the carousel!
'Awright, darling!'
What's more, with no Murdoc around to bully him 2D quickly got his own ego back. And then some. His big-head soon swelled right out of control as he realized that it was him, 2D, who was responsible for the Gorillaz success. Great! He's still just as dim as always, but now thinks the sun shines out of his own...
So 2D 'Stu-pot' the skinny greaser hardnut, has gone from boy to man. Packet of three, a fresh roll-up and a flick-comb. He's set.
His confidence fully restored 2D has decided to return to Kong Studios and '...like, sort that duh-brain Murdoc out, for picking on me! Give him a kicking or summink!' Uh oh!!
He went back home to see his dad who runs the local fun fair down in Eastbourne, who gave 2D a job collecting money from the 'Switchback Ride'. Hopping from carriage to carriage, chatting up birds, these were the greatest days of 2D's life. He also became good mates with Shane Lynch, Ex-Boyzone, who took the money on The Waltzer.
The pair became inseparable, working the rides by day and cruising the town by night. God knows how many blue-haired babies there must be out there! Adopting the teddy boy look with drainpipe jeans and his hair slicked into greasy quiff, 2D became a local celebrity all over again; the star of the dodgems, and King of the carousel!
'Awright, darling!'
What's more, with no Murdoc around to bully him 2D quickly got his own ego back. And then some. His big-head soon swelled right out of control as he realized that it was him, 2D, who was responsible for the Gorillaz success. Great! He's still just as dim as always, but now thinks the sun shines out of his own...
So 2D 'Stu-pot' the skinny greaser hardnut, has gone from boy to man. Packet of three, a fresh roll-up and a flick-comb. He's set.
His confidence fully restored 2D has decided to return to Kong Studios and '...like, sort that duh-brain Murdoc out, for picking on me! Give him a kicking or summink!' Uh oh!!
The Return 05.24.05
2D hung around in L.A. for a while but ultimately aimless and deeply disillusioned, he pissed off back to England to get his head together.
2D returned home to see his dad who runs the local fun fair down on the East coast, and was given a job collecting the money on the 'Switchback Ride'. Hopping from carriage to carriage, chatting up the 'birds', these were the greatest days of 2D's life. 2D became a local celebrity all over again; the star of the dodgems, and King of the carousel!
'Awright, darling!'
What's more, with no Murdoc around to bully him 2D quickly got his own ego back. And then some. His big-head soon swelled right out of control as he realized that it was him, 2D, who was responsible for the Gorillaz success. Not the others. Great!
His confidence fully restored 2D decided to return to Kong Studios and '...like, sort that duh-brain Murdoc out, for picking on me! Give him a kicking or summink!'
Uh oh!!
'Yeah she's nice. I fancied her since Murdoc lent me his copy of the Wickerman. But her arse looks a lot smaller in real life.'
2D on meeting Britt Ekland
2D returned home to see his dad who runs the local fun fair down on the East coast, and was given a job collecting the money on the 'Switchback Ride'. Hopping from carriage to carriage, chatting up the 'birds', these were the greatest days of 2D's life. 2D became a local celebrity all over again; the star of the dodgems, and King of the carousel!
'Awright, darling!'
What's more, with no Murdoc around to bully him 2D quickly got his own ego back. And then some. His big-head soon swelled right out of control as he realized that it was him, 2D, who was responsible for the Gorillaz success. Not the others. Great!
His confidence fully restored 2D decided to return to Kong Studios and '...like, sort that duh-brain Murdoc out, for picking on me! Give him a kicking or summink!'
Uh oh!!
'Yeah she's nice. I fancied her since Murdoc lent me his copy of the Wickerman. But her arse looks a lot smaller in real life.'
2D on meeting Britt Ekland
2D: Singer
Girlfriend: Used to date Rachel Stevens... You lucky lady!
Interests: Painkillers, Flickcombs, Zombie films, Melodica
Girlfriend: Used to date Rachel Stevens... You lucky lady!
Interests: Painkillers, Flickcombs, Zombie films, Melodica
Full Name: Stuart Pot
Alias/Aliases: 2D/Stu-Pot
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 10Stone 7LB
Age: 31
Instrument: Keyboards, Vox, Melodica
Currently Resides In: The glass-bottomed observation room at Plastic Beach
Vices: Butorphanol Tartrate, Graffiti
Phobias: Whales, The Number 13, Milk, and Eels
Psychological Profile: Devastatingly handsome but preternaturally stupid with delusions of adequacy. Harmless but very irritating.
Alias/Aliases: 2D/Stu-Pot
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 10Stone 7LB
Age: 31
Instrument: Keyboards, Vox, Melodica
Currently Resides In: The glass-bottomed observation room at Plastic Beach
Vices: Butorphanol Tartrate, Graffiti
Phobias: Whales, The Number 13, Milk, and Eels
Psychological Profile: Devastatingly handsome but preternaturally stupid with delusions of adequacy. Harmless but very irritating.
I’m 2D. Lead vocals and keyboard. I also write some of the songs, even though Murdoc takes all the credit. But I don’t mind. I’m not in Gorillaz for the glory. I’m in it ‘cos Murdoc threatened to hunt me down with his crossbow if I ever left. But that’s just what misunderstood geniuses do. My therapist says I’m suffering from acute Stockholm Syndrome and that I’m basically a hostage, but I doubt it because I’ve never even been to Norway. Besides, humans are too complex to simplify like that. We have many layers, like a lasagne or multi-storey carpark.
I first met Murdoc when he ram-raided his Vauxhall Astra into the keyboard shop where I worked. It was a pretty cool job - 11 pence an hour, minus expenses (of 11 pence an hour), which might not sound like much today, but it was the ‘90s. Anyway, the car hit me and I ended up in coma, so Murdoc used the ancient Yogic technique of repeated face-punching to wake me up. When my eyes opened, he told me he wanted me in his band. I wasn’t sure at first. So he ran me over again to convince me. It was clear he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I couldn’t say no anyway ‘cos I was in another coma. When I came to again, he broke the news - he’d created Gorillaz, and I was the frontman. The rest is history.
I mean, it’s not all good history. A lot of it still gives me nightmares. Like the time I was eaten by a giant whale. We were living on Plastic Beach, this island in the Pacific made of rotting garbage, when some pirates attacked. I fled into a dark cave, which turned out to be the mouth of a great white whale called Massive Dick. Massive swam off with me inside him, and for months I was his prisoner. It was a bit cramped, but I made a nice little home between the spleen and the aorta. To be honest, it was just good to have some me-time. In the end, Massive died, and we washed up on a beach where I was marooned for a year, before finally coming back to London to work on the new album.
It’s brilliant being back with the other Gorillaz, but fame can be weird sometimes - like when fans steal your pubic hair and make a collage out of it. Some people dream of being in a band, but my dream is to go back to Eastbourne funfair and run the dodgems again. You have to be careful with dreams, though, ‘cos if you achieve them, then what will you have left to dream about? That’s something Murdoc taught me. See, he can be nice sometimes. And since he’s started drinking more he’s had less time to beat me up and torture me. So I think we’ve really turned a corner. I only hope that what’s around the corner isn’t much, much worse. But that’s the future, you can’t worry about that too much. What’s happening right now is all that counts. For example, right now I really need the toilet, so I better go.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you like the new album.
I first met Murdoc when he ram-raided his Vauxhall Astra into the keyboard shop where I worked. It was a pretty cool job - 11 pence an hour, minus expenses (of 11 pence an hour), which might not sound like much today, but it was the ‘90s. Anyway, the car hit me and I ended up in coma, so Murdoc used the ancient Yogic technique of repeated face-punching to wake me up. When my eyes opened, he told me he wanted me in his band. I wasn’t sure at first. So he ran me over again to convince me. It was clear he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I couldn’t say no anyway ‘cos I was in another coma. When I came to again, he broke the news - he’d created Gorillaz, and I was the frontman. The rest is history.
I mean, it’s not all good history. A lot of it still gives me nightmares. Like the time I was eaten by a giant whale. We were living on Plastic Beach, this island in the Pacific made of rotting garbage, when some pirates attacked. I fled into a dark cave, which turned out to be the mouth of a great white whale called Massive Dick. Massive swam off with me inside him, and for months I was his prisoner. It was a bit cramped, but I made a nice little home between the spleen and the aorta. To be honest, it was just good to have some me-time. In the end, Massive died, and we washed up on a beach where I was marooned for a year, before finally coming back to London to work on the new album.
It’s brilliant being back with the other Gorillaz, but fame can be weird sometimes - like when fans steal your pubic hair and make a collage out of it. Some people dream of being in a band, but my dream is to go back to Eastbourne funfair and run the dodgems again. You have to be careful with dreams, though, ‘cos if you achieve them, then what will you have left to dream about? That’s something Murdoc taught me. See, he can be nice sometimes. And since he’s started drinking more he’s had less time to beat me up and torture me. So I think we’ve really turned a corner. I only hope that what’s around the corner isn’t much, much worse. But that’s the future, you can’t worry about that too much. What’s happening right now is all that counts. For example, right now I really need the toilet, so I better go.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you like the new album.
Doesn't have a bad bone in his body
Often alone on a friday night
Kind hearted
Dodgy eyes
Just wants love
Awkward
Dreamy
Takes a while to get a joke
Not street smart (at all)
Strength: his right thumb
Weakness: his left thumb
Often alone on a friday night
Kind hearted
Dodgy eyes
Just wants love
Awkward
Dreamy
Takes a while to get a joke
Not street smart (at all)
Strength: his right thumb
Weakness: his left thumb